non-stop Pondering

Dear Diary,

I'll try to come here more often to update what's going on with my current life... I've listened to Esther's suggestion and I've joined my college's CF... Things were ok in the meantime, just that I'm still finding my position in the club... Last Friday was their first meeting after the long break from May and Peter, our advisor was trying to figure out our gifting and made good use of it... There are a few members with great voices like Amy, Celine, Roshen and Jeremiah... I truly believes that most Christians have great voices because as Mr. Lam said "God love music and God love it when we make music for him, either with our voices or instruments..." So, am I the abandoned one? The one that God accidentally forgotten? I know that everyone is special in His eyes but I still don't know my speciality... Where's my gifting? Where's my talent? Which area can I serve him? Is Sunday School my one and very last resort? It's the same thing in the CF... I can't sing because compared to them, I was like a tiny little ant in the human world... Although Celine and Yi Wen said they only know piano basics, but how do I know if they're just being humble? So no one knows that I'm a Grade 8 piano student but if they know, I still won't admit because my piano is like sh**... God, please help me find my position~ I really wanted to serve but I don't know where and how... Should I just wait until you cleared the mist in my heart? Give me courage dear Lord... give me~

I would like to thank sister Esther here for giving me this bracelet... I really like it, I really do~

It's not like the "Like it" when people gave me a present, but a "Like" that I truly like it and would appreciate it from the bottom of my heart...PO